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We don’t even know what to watch where to start with all the great new shows appearing this week on tv. Ian Ziering faces a Zombie Tidal Wave. Steve Austin has a VERY Steve-Austiny new show. And somehow, they keep surprising us with new ideas for reality TV. This week of shows will not disappoint. And if it does, it will be in a very hate-watch kind of way.

Get your TiVo® ready, here’s what to watch this week on TV, Netflix, HBO, and more.

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Monday August 12

Kids Baking Championship

Reality competition, Food Network. Monday August 12, 8pm. Season 7

Ok, I read the title and was like “aw, cute.” BUT THEN I WATCHED THE TRAILER. Wow these kids are here to unleash in a new world of culinary badassery on us adults.  Look out.

After a sneak peek last week, KBC season 7 officially premieres Monday. Duff Goldman and Valerie Bertinelli host.

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Lodge 49

Drama, AMC. Monday August 12, 10pm. Season 2.

I had a minor existential crisis watching this preview and I don’t know why. We’re going to let the press release handle explaining this one. “Looking for any semblance of the idyllic middle-class existence he knew before his father’s death and the family business collapsing, a charming, eternally optimistic ex-surfer named Dud stumbles into his life’s new path. He finds himself on the doorstep of a rundown fraternal lodge, where a “Luminous Knight” of the order, plumbing salesman Ernie, welcomes him with open arms.”

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Our Boys

Drama, HBO, Monday August 12, 9pm. Miniseries.

Our Boys covers the investigation of Muhammad Abu Khdeir’s murder, and shares a story based on true events leading up to the war in Gaza. Filmed in Israel.

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Straight Up Steve Austin

Talk/Reality, USA. Monday August 12, 11pm. New.

Steve says it best. “I get to talk to some awesome friends and guests, while raising some hell in the process.” Here he is pounding beers, being very macho, and breaking it down for us.

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Tuesday August 13

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Adam Ruins Everything

Reality, truTV. Tuesday August 13, 10pm.

Judging by this preview, Adam’s whole “thing” is being annoying to people. Here’s the trailer.

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Mysteries Decoded

Reality, CW. Tuesday August 13, 9pm. New.

This one is for my fellow fans of shows that investigate creepy stuff. We’ll be watching.

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Supermarket Stakeout

Reality competition, Food Network. August 13, 10pm. New.

Haven’t they thought of every possible reality show? Guess not. In this one, competitors are let loose in a supermarket to negotiate food out of customers hands, and then cook meals right there in the store. We’re confused enough to watch.

Hosted by Iron Chef and Chopped judge Alex Guarnaschelli.

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Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready

Comedy special, Netflix. August 13. New.

From Netflix: “Tiffany Haddish spotlights six hand-picked, diverse comedians including Chaunté Wayans, April Macie, Tracey Ashley, Aida Rodriguez, Flame Monroe and Marlo Williams. Are you ready? Because they ready!”

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Wednesday August 14

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Black Ink Crew: New York

Reality, VH1.  Wednesday August 14, 9pm. Season 8.

Skin art, a growing celebrity clientele, and tonnnnnnnnnnnns of drama. Give the preview a watch.

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Black Ink Crew: Compton

Reality, VH1.  Wednesday August 14, 10pm. New.

After watching BIC: NY, stick around for more as owner Caeser Emmanuel makes plans to bring his Black Ink Crew franchise to the West Coast.

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Danny’s House

Reality, Viceland. Wednesday August 14, 10pm.

Are you at work? No? Ok then watch this trailer.

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David Makes Man

Drama OWN. Wednesday August 14, 10pm. New.

A 14-year-old prodigy faces the hard choice between the streets where he was raised or the higher education that may offer him an unknown way out. This will be a powerful one.

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Friday August 16

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Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests

Reality, Travel. Friday August 16, 9pm. New.

Who ya gonna call? Dalen Spratt, Juwan Mass and Marcus Harvey travel the country, staying for nights at a time at the homes of folks who have reached out saying they are experiencing something strange and other-worldly.  We will be watching with the night light on. 😱

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Love After Lockup

Reality, WE. Friday August 16, 9pm. Season 3.

Engaged couples meet for the first time when one gets out of jail. That’s the setup here. What the heck?  We’ll be watching.

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Saturday August 17

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Gates of Paradise

Drama Lifetime. Saturday August 17, 8pm. Movie.

Another week of Jason Priestley content? Save us a seat on the sofa. Here’s number four of five films for Lifetime’s Saturday Night Thrillers “Casteel,” movie series, based on the family of novels by V.C. Andrews.

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A Summer Romance

Drama, Hallmark. Saturday August 17, 9pm. Movie.

A woman wants to save her family’s country ranch. A city slicker wants to turn it into a fancy resort. But if Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat taught us anything, it’s that opposites attract. Erin Krakow and Ryan Paevey take us on location in this teaser:

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Zombie Tidal Wave

Action/Comedy, Syfy. Saturday August 17, 9pm Movie.

You had us at, well, Zombie Tidal Wave. This is a movie from Ian Ziering and the director of the Sharknado films. Obviously.

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Sunday August 18

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Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: A Very Foul Play

Drama, HMM. Sunday August 18, 9pm. Movie series.

Hallmark says “Aurora and friends are off to a resort for a true crime convention; while there, they take part in a mystery dinner theater, but art imitates life when a fellow actor gets killed.” I mean, come on. That is classic mystery material right there.

Here’s Marilu Henner talking about her role in the movie series.

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Ball in the Family

Reality, Facebook Watch. Sunday August 18, 9pm. Season 5.

This series documents the personal and professional lives of New Orleans Pelicans guard Lonzo Ball and the rest of the Ball family. And, according to this preview, it’s the most entertaining thrill ride ever.

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Cola Wars

Documentary, History. Sunday August 18, 9pm. Special.

Coke. Pepsi. New Coke. The multibillion-dollar global soda industry. A look into the “cola wars” how the soft drink industry turned hard in the 70s and 80s. Honestly, I don’t know much about the cola wars but Billy Joel said “rock and roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore” in We Didn’t Start the Fire so I know it must be important.

A cloud of fizz shooting from the top of a can of cola.

Photo credit: History Channel

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Downton Abbey Live!

Talk, PBS. Sunday August 18, 9pm. Special.

The most beloved moments, and some behind the scenes gossip. Carson please be as cool irl as on the show. Don’t ruin Downton for me.

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I Am Patrick Swayze

Documentary, Paramount. Sunday August 18, 9pm. Movie.

Oh man. The first line of this trailer hit me directly where bury all my emotions. Remember how great Patrick Swayze (😢) was?

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Ted Bundy: Mind of a Monster

Reality, ID. Sunday August 18, 9pm, Special.

Why are we so into this Ted Bundy stuff? Seriously, are we ok? Investigation Discovery (ID) reports that its new series of specials, Mind of a Monster, explores this evolution of evil and the psyche of some of America’s most iconic serial killers.

Here’s a sneak peek.

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That’s it for what to watch this week on TV! Don’t forget to tweet us every now and then.

 

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